An unfortunate part of dating and relationships in general is the fact that many people tend to hold out until the perfect person rolls around. News flash: that’s never going to happen! It’s tempting to pass on everyone until someone who meets all your requirements happens to appear in your life. By doing this, however, you’re probably missing out on some genuinely compatible people. We maintain a new online service that helps you find people with similar skills and knowledge. Tools like this offer additional data points from which you can decide. Also, they’re fun to use.
It’s easy to get caught up in the hysteria around finding the perfect someone because gossipy tabloids, blogs, and other media outlets tend to publish articles like, “How to Find Mr. Perfect” or “Ms. Perfect Is Waiting for You.” These authors are usually trying to lure people in to a dishonest scheme in which only the author or his constituents profit from the foolishness of the readers. The authors would have you believe that there’s some super secret formula to finding impeccable humans as if such a thing even exists.
A simple fact of our lives is that we are human. As humans, we are inherently imperfect creatures. We are formed imperfectly, born imperfectly, think imperfectly, and behave imperfectly. This is just something that everyone has to come to grips with as they grow up. That’s not to say that we are a bunch of bumbling nobodies without the capability to be productive. The point is that we all excel in certain areas above others while being unskilled in other areas. Does that make us less of a person? Of course not.
With that knowledge, you should scale back any hopes of finding someone who ticks off every check box on your list. Instead, you should identify some key points that people should meet to reduce any relationship risks. Notice we said “reduce” and not “eliminate.” The distinction is important because it’s impossible to eliminate risk entirely for the reasons discussed early about being human.
Relationships are tough. They’re even tougher once you realize that whoever you’re paired with is going to do things that annoy you. Part of the process is accepting people for their odd quirks, realizing that you probably have your own odd quirks, and encouraging yourself and your partner to improve each and every day. Maybe your wife is a little bit unscheduled. Maybe your husband doesn’t organize his laundry. Work with each other to talk about and improve these things. You’ll never reach a perfect agreement, but through good communication, mutual understanding of flaws, and steady progression, a healthy relationship will continue.